Literally Irresistible
Ah, I just can’t resist…
For, you see, I sometimes have a nasty habit of correcting people and pointing out their mistakes. (Not that I myself don’t make mistakes – I am quite certain I do, but nine times out of ten they are 'artistic' mistakes. um. or something.). So please allow me to (re)indulge that habit now, as it pertains to last night’s post.
While perusing the latest fantasy basketball (yes, feel free to poke fun at my enjoyable, and at least in last year’s case, lucrative, timewaster all you wish) prognostications, I came across this wonderful observation written by an Erick Schutte for rotowire.com:
Really, Mr. Schutte?
Now I know Utah was unhappy with Arroyo, but did someone literally strike him with the lower extremity of his or her vertebrate leg, causing Arroyo to be forced across the threshold separating the Jazz facilities and the outside world?
And if so, who?
Did 63-year-old Jazz Coach and primary Arroyo hater Gerald Eugene “Jerry” Sloan take it upon himself to do it? Or did he pass the buck (shoe?) upward to 61-year-old owner Larry H. Miller? Or did they hire someone from the outside? Some sort of Mercenary? Are there ads in the Yellow Pages for that sort of thing? 1-800-IKICKEM?
These questions are extremely important. I will die if I don’t find out the answers. Literally, dude.
For, you see, I sometimes have a nasty habit of correcting people and pointing out their mistakes. (Not that I myself don’t make mistakes – I am quite certain I do, but nine times out of ten they are 'artistic' mistakes. um. or something.). So please allow me to (re)indulge that habit now, as it pertains to last night’s post.
While perusing the latest fantasy basketball (yes, feel free to poke fun at my enjoyable, and at least in last year’s case, lucrative, timewaster all you wish) prognostications, I came across this wonderful observation written by an Erick Schutte for rotowire.com:
After averaging 12.4 points, 6.8 assists and 3.6 rebounds in 39 games for Illinois last season, Williams is almost guaranteed to start at PG for a Utah team that literally kicked last year's starter, Carlos Arroyo, out the door.
Really, Mr. Schutte?
Now I know Utah was unhappy with Arroyo, but did someone literally strike him with the lower extremity of his or her vertebrate leg, causing Arroyo to be forced across the threshold separating the Jazz facilities and the outside world?
And if so, who?
Did 63-year-old Jazz Coach and primary Arroyo hater Gerald Eugene “Jerry” Sloan take it upon himself to do it? Or did he pass the buck (shoe?) upward to 61-year-old owner Larry H. Miller? Or did they hire someone from the outside? Some sort of Mercenary? Are there ads in the Yellow Pages for that sort of thing? 1-800-IKICKEM?
These questions are extremely important. I will die if I don’t find out the answers. Literally, dude.
posted by Josh Peterson at 1:08 AM
14 Comments:
You are writing on your blog again, literally. Yay!
"No one reads my blog." "Who reads my blog? No one." Blah Blah Blah.
Obviously, this Dan character does and some guy named Bruno who couldn't be small and jewish, but large and Slavic, so maybe you could write a new gosh darn blog. I, Alex Garnett, demand new information. And so does my husband, Sir Kevin Garnett.
you know...
maybe i would write more on this thing if i didn't spend a significant portion of my free time being forced to watch stupid 20/20 mysteries and other similar activites by a certain wife of kevin garnett. maybe, just maybe next time i say i shouldn't hang out because i had planned on doing things like writing, you should let me do them and then you would find yourself privy to new blog posts more often. what say you to that? eh?
You know what I say to that? I say maybe somebody shouldn't be so focused on being so "old school" all the time that activities could begin before the hour of ten, hence no need to be forced to watch Paul Jones stab his wife over and over and over. And maybe, just maybe, somebody could stop pretending he didn't care about who murdered her, yet pulling out his new mini computer to research it while in front of the television, rather than write a blog.
And that is what I say. And my husband Kevin says the same thing, except at the end he said "UH! UH! WOLVES FOR LIFE! UH! WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!" for some reason.
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Look at that last comment. You are widely read enough to have solicitations.
josh. i cannot do this any longer. i command you to write a new blog. ok, right now, for instance, i'm watching tv and there is an ad for the new "Pride and Prejudice" movie. Maybe you could write about the world's fascination with keira knightly and her bony-ass body. or maybe you could talk about dame judy dench and how much my mom likes her. i could tell you more about that if you'd like. or maybe you could predict when the next "Pride and Prejucide" will come out and who will be in it.
I just can't come here day after day and be so let down. my husband, kevin garnett, doesn't read a lot between being a hero on and off the court so its really important for him to be enlightened by your blog. last time he opened up your site he said to me "blao! what?!?!!? naw. what?!?!" i didn't even know what to say to him.
what's the problem with keira knightley now? i for one have no problem with her. considered yourself informed: my small corner of cyberspace is not meant to be a forum for voicing libelous insults about fine young women, and i will not stand for such actions.
secondly, i have been meaning to blog lately. and though my lack of blogging as of late is relatively inexcusable, my lack of blogging in the very recent future can be explained thus-wise: tonight i spent at the target center cheering on your alleged husband kevin garnett to victory over the los angeles's. now what is more important to you - making your supposed husband win a basketball match, or writing silly things that are to be stored on this mysterious ether we call the internet?
and prior to today, i basically was living at work for a multitude of days (sunday, monday, tuesday), so i had zero opportunity to engage in blogging.
but rest assured: i have a handy list of wonderfully interesting topics on which i intend to someday blog. actually getting it done is another story (that's an awful lot to ask...), but i promise i will at least think about doing it. and the more i think about doing it, the closer i am to actually doing it. so we're on the right track here i think.
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Now that last one is good spam. Personal and everything. I feel an irresitable need to bet on sports.
I just bet my life savings on Milwaukee winning the NBA finals this year! Thank you, spam on josh's blog, for pushing me to take more risks in athletics!!!!
To the Josh Peterson who posted this...did you used to live in Buffalo NY? Are you originally from Oregon?
Not sure if you are the same...you see...I had amnesia but recently I remembered who you were...HA HA!!
Seriously, Ms. Pope is searching for you...and wanted to say hi! not sure ...you are a bit younger than the JP I know.
Google me and maybe you can find me :)
I count on you for an analysis of the Wolves/Celtics trade. Perhaps it should just be done in email or conversation
I am the only one here! I am king! I am king!
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